How would you feel if you've spent ur entire life trying to please someone, only to realise that this person has long ago condemned you for who you are so many years ago and nothing, absolutely NOTHING, can change the condemnation, even if you are a much better or totally different person now?
How would you feel being condemned by the person closest to you?!
Yes! LIFE IS SAD!
Fine! If that's how you want it!
If that's what you want!
If you want to live in the past forever, FINE! Go ahead and condemn me! I wouldn't care less!
If that's what you want, if that's how I am forever in your heart, I shall revert back to the old me! Everything, just for YOU!
Go ahead and hate me! AS IF I CARE!!
PUI!
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
+ NeVeR sAy d|E +
Last night, I was being nosy and stopped by the television to see what’s showing. It was a reality show, “Never Say Die”.
The contestants were those who had tried their hands in Singapore Idol, Jue Dui Superstar and Star Idol but failed. Initially I wasn’t very much impressed with this show. But as it was, when I stopped to look, they were just showing a segment on the internal strife among the contestants. It seems that all 7 contestants were being very unhappy with the 8th guy and they all unleashed their frustrations and unhappiness on him all in one go. The poor guy took a big blow, and finally shed tears.
For me personally, I also do not take much liking to this guy. But seeing how sad he was… well, I realized he’s still a human. He does have feelings, no matter how eccentric or perverse he may seem. Anyway later on the other contestants explained that they weren’t really ostracizing him. They had tried all means and ways to accept him and to point out his faults to him in a bid to let him improve. However, it had all been in vain, and he just continued keeping himself on their nerves. Until that eruption when no one could take it anymore.
I can truly understand both feelings, that as one of the 7 contestants, and that of the 8th guy. No matter which side you are on, you won’t feel good. I won’t for sure.
But as things cleared up, all of them shook hands as a sign of harmony. A girl passed him a piece of tissue, and all 8 of them sat together, and the camera go around for their after thoughts on this episode. When it was one partular guy's turn, he spoke and got more passionate with each word.
“We, the 8 of us, are in this TOGETHER! We should all MOVE FORWARD as ONE! We will leave NO MAN behind!
LEAVE NO MAN BEHIND!!
NEVER SAY DIE!!”
He ended his speech standing up and making a huge warrior gesture. And we saw the 8 of them, putting their hands together, a show of unity. And at this point of time, I realized my eyes were tearing, and I didn’t even notice that.
When was the last time I heard words like this? It sounded so familiar, yet so long ago. I could feel the same emotions in them too.
Yesterday was a bad day. It doesn’t help that I was caught out of my house by the rain for 3 whole hours and still had to cycle home in the rain after the long wait. Then upon reaching my house, I faced the risk of incurring my friend’s wrath, only to realize I only have 8 hours left to prepare for a morning paper on the next day which is this morning, which I had covered less than a quarter of what I had to digest. And on top of it, I had to bear the consequences of the actions of some irresponsible parents, and I couldn’t let it out.
Perhaps I was fated to watch this segment of “Never Say Die”. Perhaps it was to tell me not to give up. Just like the contestants, they were given a second chance, and they were going all out to grab that opportunity and use it to the fullest. I was given my chance too. No matter who is going to bring me down, no matter who WANTS to bring me down, no matter who likes to see me down, I tell you now! I SHALL NEVER SAY DIE!! (ok.. even though I’m already a spirit and the fact that I’m already dead…) BUT my SPIRIT shall still go on!!! MUAHAHA!!
It seems that the offstage moments of this reality show are even more dramatic than what it already is. This is a competition, yet there is no competitiveness involved. Instead, all of them seek to help each other and strives to improve themselves. They could have jolly well made use of this chance to bring down that guy to increase their own confidence, but all they wanted to do was to help him, though things did turn wayward. But in the end, in this particular episode, I could really see an improvement in this 8th guy.
Talk about the extent of touching people’s hearts. They always occur in the most subtle form in the direst situations. Plus the fact that this is coming from a group of not-as-good-looking-as and do-not-sing-as-well-as an average person u find on the streets.
But they have something which most people don’t have. The never-say-die attitude.
And that is the difference.
The contestants were those who had tried their hands in Singapore Idol, Jue Dui Superstar and Star Idol but failed. Initially I wasn’t very much impressed with this show. But as it was, when I stopped to look, they were just showing a segment on the internal strife among the contestants. It seems that all 7 contestants were being very unhappy with the 8th guy and they all unleashed their frustrations and unhappiness on him all in one go. The poor guy took a big blow, and finally shed tears.
For me personally, I also do not take much liking to this guy. But seeing how sad he was… well, I realized he’s still a human. He does have feelings, no matter how eccentric or perverse he may seem. Anyway later on the other contestants explained that they weren’t really ostracizing him. They had tried all means and ways to accept him and to point out his faults to him in a bid to let him improve. However, it had all been in vain, and he just continued keeping himself on their nerves. Until that eruption when no one could take it anymore.
I can truly understand both feelings, that as one of the 7 contestants, and that of the 8th guy. No matter which side you are on, you won’t feel good. I won’t for sure.
But as things cleared up, all of them shook hands as a sign of harmony. A girl passed him a piece of tissue, and all 8 of them sat together, and the camera go around for their after thoughts on this episode. When it was one partular guy's turn, he spoke and got more passionate with each word.
“We, the 8 of us, are in this TOGETHER! We should all MOVE FORWARD as ONE! We will leave NO MAN behind!
LEAVE NO MAN BEHIND!!
NEVER SAY DIE!!”
He ended his speech standing up and making a huge warrior gesture. And we saw the 8 of them, putting their hands together, a show of unity. And at this point of time, I realized my eyes were tearing, and I didn’t even notice that.
When was the last time I heard words like this? It sounded so familiar, yet so long ago. I could feel the same emotions in them too.
Yesterday was a bad day. It doesn’t help that I was caught out of my house by the rain for 3 whole hours and still had to cycle home in the rain after the long wait. Then upon reaching my house, I faced the risk of incurring my friend’s wrath, only to realize I only have 8 hours left to prepare for a morning paper on the next day which is this morning, which I had covered less than a quarter of what I had to digest. And on top of it, I had to bear the consequences of the actions of some irresponsible parents, and I couldn’t let it out.
Perhaps I was fated to watch this segment of “Never Say Die”. Perhaps it was to tell me not to give up. Just like the contestants, they were given a second chance, and they were going all out to grab that opportunity and use it to the fullest. I was given my chance too. No matter who is going to bring me down, no matter who WANTS to bring me down, no matter who likes to see me down, I tell you now! I SHALL NEVER SAY DIE!! (ok.. even though I’m already a spirit and the fact that I’m already dead…) BUT my SPIRIT shall still go on!!! MUAHAHA!!
It seems that the offstage moments of this reality show are even more dramatic than what it already is. This is a competition, yet there is no competitiveness involved. Instead, all of them seek to help each other and strives to improve themselves. They could have jolly well made use of this chance to bring down that guy to increase their own confidence, but all they wanted to do was to help him, though things did turn wayward. But in the end, in this particular episode, I could really see an improvement in this 8th guy.
Talk about the extent of touching people’s hearts. They always occur in the most subtle form in the direst situations. Plus the fact that this is coming from a group of not-as-good-looking-as and do-not-sing-as-well-as an average person u find on the streets.
But they have something which most people don’t have. The never-say-die attitude.
And that is the difference.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
+ Sp|r|t +
Since I already died on 20 April 2006, this is my spirit talking here...
Being a spirit, I've spent more time thinking over my life, and a notion simply pop up to me..
I wonder, how memorable it would be if one can graduate from University, ending her educational life, with someone she truly likes. On the Convocation Day, both wear the graduation robes, take a picture together, with triumphant smiles on their faces. Somehow it seems to signify both of them have come so far, fighting battles together, and finally be able to graduate together... even if they are purely friends.
I suddenly realise, since a long time ago, one of the big motivations to make me want to graduate, on time, is that picture. Even if he doesn't like me. Even if we are just friends. Even if he is attached. Even if it signifies that chances of meeting him again after that day is down to 0.00009.
At least i still have that picture, to remind me of him, of the days when we fought on together, encouraging each other not to give up under the tremendous stress n pressure in Uni life.
All I want and can only wish for is that photo. But can I even graduate on time? With him?
This final battle is only half over. And I'm already dead. Oh.. how did I die? I was crushed by reinforced concrete. Stupid sia.. Concrete is already bad enough, REINFORCED concrete somemore! No wonder i died such a horrible death... haiz...
But I'm still a spirit, or soul, or as some scientific people insist, a bulk of energy left hovering in the world. I'm not yet a ghost, so don't worry, i won't bite. I'm still waiting for the judgement day 6 weeks from now, where i shall face the verdict or either going to hell, or heaven, or be allowed to resurrect.
And meanwhile, even when I am a spirit, a soul, or a lump of energy, the battle must go on.
Being a spirit, I've spent more time thinking over my life, and a notion simply pop up to me..
I wonder, how memorable it would be if one can graduate from University, ending her educational life, with someone she truly likes. On the Convocation Day, both wear the graduation robes, take a picture together, with triumphant smiles on their faces. Somehow it seems to signify both of them have come so far, fighting battles together, and finally be able to graduate together... even if they are purely friends.
I suddenly realise, since a long time ago, one of the big motivations to make me want to graduate, on time, is that picture. Even if he doesn't like me. Even if we are just friends. Even if he is attached. Even if it signifies that chances of meeting him again after that day is down to 0.00009.
At least i still have that picture, to remind me of him, of the days when we fought on together, encouraging each other not to give up under the tremendous stress n pressure in Uni life.
All I want and can only wish for is that photo. But can I even graduate on time? With him?
This final battle is only half over. And I'm already dead. Oh.. how did I die? I was crushed by reinforced concrete. Stupid sia.. Concrete is already bad enough, REINFORCED concrete somemore! No wonder i died such a horrible death... haiz...
But I'm still a spirit, or soul, or as some scientific people insist, a bulk of energy left hovering in the world. I'm not yet a ghost, so don't worry, i won't bite. I'm still waiting for the judgement day 6 weeks from now, where i shall face the verdict or either going to hell, or heaven, or be allowed to resurrect.
And meanwhile, even when I am a spirit, a soul, or a lump of energy, the battle must go on.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
+ hErE +
It is finally coming.
The Beginning of an Ending.
The Ending to a new Beginning.
I hope so.
I certainly hope so.
I really wish so.
I KNOW it is so.
It.is.finally.here.
The Beginning of an Ending.
The Ending to a new Beginning.
I hope so.
I certainly hope so.
I really wish so.
I KNOW it is so.
It.is.finally.here.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
+ SpAm +
AAAaaahhhhHHHHH!!!!!! I WANNA SH0000OOUT!!! I WANNA SCREAMMM!!!!!! HHHeeeEELLLPPPPP!! TERRORISTs ARE COMINNNGGGGG IN FF00OOuuuRRRR DDAAAYYYYSSSSSS!!!!!! SSSsoooo000OO SSCCCCAAARRRRYYYYYYYY!!!!!! RRrruuuUUUUNNNN F0000rrrrRR YOURRrr LLIIIVVVEEEESSSS!!! HHHEEEELLLLPPPPPPP!!!!! RRRRUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!!!!! SAAAVEEE ME SOMEBODY!!!! WHHHHOOO0000ooo CAN SAVE MMEEEeeee?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!?!?!?!? AAaAAAHHHHH!!!! THEY ARRRREEEEE COMINNNNGG!!! SSSSSOOOOOO SSSCCCCAAAAARRRRYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! AAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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