True or not

Recently been feeling disturbed, and yet can't really decipher what I am feeling, until i saw a post on Facebook by a friend of my friend:
"Life is not about people who act true to your face, but about people who remain true behind your back."

Exactly.

I like my current job for now. But what is stressing me out is that i like my job, and nothing else. Apparently, those who work with me or under me, thinks i'm incapable. Those who work around me, thinks i'm a self-centred spoiltbrat. And the worse thing is, none of them showed they thought like that of me at all!

Superficialilty.

Nowadays, i no longer feel any sense of achievement or happiness whenever i complete something. I can't feel any sincerity when people congratulate me. I don't feel any sincerity when i said thanks to their congratulations. It's all just a formality, which is as good as none.

So what happens when I start treating people as just colleagues, being superficial, being nice, saying only the 'right' things, telling them only things they want to hear? They find that suddenly, i'm a very nice person to work with! Faint... I feel so fake.

Friends can't be colleagues, and colleagues can never be friends.

Now I see the beauty of this phrase. After all, what matters in work is that, who cares if you are true or not? So long as you make people feel good, so good that they are willing to slog for you, then you've just proven yourself to be the competent and capable manager.

Yes, with time, i can do that.

But do i want to do that?

Counting down to 14months, before i have to make this decision.