+ l0Ve tEsT +

+ l0Ve tEsT +
(P.S. tis is not a quiz! =P)

People always say, bing bian, aka the love between a couple will be put to test once the guy needs to go for N.S. That's one stage. There's another stage: when the boyfriend is still studying and the girlfriend already working.

Similarity 1: In both cases, the environment which the guy and girl are soaked in everyday for a long period is almost totally different.

Similarity 2: For many stories I've heard, it was always refered to as the girl being at fault, that she changed and left for some other guys, "richer or stronger" as deemed by the "victims"(which are always the guys).

Definition: Breaking up is an agreement between the 2 involved individuals to part their own ways after deciding they could no longer be happy together.

Question: In a break up, there may be unwilling parties.
Does it mean all unwilling parties are victims of circumstances?
What went wrong? Who went wrong? Where had gone wrong?

(From a female's perspective)
[Note: I said "a female", it don't represent the whole female population]
Problem 1: Commitment. In a relationship, perhaps it's essential for both parties to spare time for each other. It's a role they HAVE to play ever since they agree to be with each other. In the both above cases, due to the different environment they are in, it is very difficult to avoid a clash in their free time. Even if they can manage to squeeze that little time, the energy level may not be full. They could be tired and such n such, bogged down by the stuffs of their everyday lives. One of them may start to imagine things, like perhaps the other party are no longer interested in their lives because they simply don't sound interested. Who knows? the poor listener may be too tired to "SOUND" interested, yet at the same time was still listening earnestly.
What if at a particular time when one needs the other the most, but that other is unable to be there? What if there are many particular times like that? This is when the 3rd party comes in so easily. Still, it's no one's fault.

Problem 2: When a girl goes on to study while the guy goes to NS, she gets to see and learn SO many new things! And when she just starts out to work, she'll learn even MORE new things! Could be good, could be bad things. But whatever it is, it widens her horizons. She learns, she grow, she mature. There's more perspectives.
Guys, on the other hand, lags. Generally, their mentality stopped at the level where they just go into NS. During the whole period, it was constant. For some, their mentality went haywire due to some problems or sudden surge of agitation. They got too obsessed with earning loads of money and the paper chase dunno what, etc, that they got so inferior, and their ego shot skyhigh. They could no longer bear their gf being "better" than them in their sense, and started "abusing" her emotionally.
For those who's metality remained constant, only continued growing after NS. For some it's even worse. Even after they finished NS, their mentality still remain CONSTANT!! Simply put, they are twenty over years old with only the EQ of a teenager. Sighzzz.....

If it's going to take a loooong time before their mentality paths can cross again, and it's obvious the communication has long broken down, why should one hold on to it? In the both cases of the guys whose mentality stayed or went haywire, is it fair to make the girl slow down or even stop and wait for the guy who might never come round? And for the girls who grew, are they the ones who really changed, or is it the guys who go stagnant too much that they are no longer who the girls used to like long ago? Love is only that much. Without constant communication and care and (fertilizers n water n sunlight n such), how long can a relationship really substain? Call it being practical or realistic. But the problem is, if the feeling is no longer there, isn't it better to let go?

Note: Of course there are also many couples who successfully substained their relationships through storms and earthquakes , fire and floods, all the way and walk down that red aisle together and live happily ever after. That's probably because they had managed to find that BALANCE in their lives which is a fine line between everything.
Congratulations!
*A salute to those of you*