How would you define a good kid and a bad kid?
This is a question which i finally come up with after gathering many many instances from people whom i believed that, once this question is solved, will benefit many people.
Sidetrack just for your infomation:
Like for a scientist, most of the time, he'll have an idea popped up, a theory formed, THEN he'll do extensive research and experiment to prove his theory. Seldom will there be a theory formed out of observing many failed experiments, though that's how aeroplanes came out. The theory of Aerodynamics are formed out of the many experiments by the Wright Brothers.
Anyway, back to the kids topic. How would one define a good kid?
From the societal level, in the past, the most an average parent would hope from his kid to be good, was for him not to get into bad company, not getting into unnecessary fights, not stealing/robbing/taking drugs, and if he would finish his education properly and find a job with a stable income and start a family, that would be a bonus.
Now, from my observations, a kid who merely refuses to finish his homework after school, and/or watch tv all day, and/or rebut his parents' nags or lecturings, but otherwise is a well-behaved kid in school and/or in public, is labelled a very naughty, or, "Bad kid".
Is that really so? Just because a kid doesn't follow "the rules", they are bad?
How about another kid who is very filial, do all his homework, helps out with housework, listens and behaves himself before his parents, never letting them worry for him, but in school, he cheats during tests, bully others, get into fights, schemed against others, being rude to anyone and not behaving properly in public.
How is he labelled then?
Reducing the scope to family level of nowadays, further simplifying, a kid who is well-behaved in school, in public, but is rude only to his parents and doesn't, and never want to do as they told him to? Vice versa, a filial and well-behaved kid in front of his parents, but create havoc once out of his house, out of his parents' sight?
In another case, a kid follows every rule there is in the legal law, every rule written in the school booklet, do everything he is told, but he does everything half-heartedly, thus most of the times, things don't turn out right. So is he still a good kid?
Do not think that the above descriptions are purely examples out of a concept. Nope. There are real-life people whom I know are like these, maybe even including myself.
I know, in the bible and many other religious teachings, cultural teachings, there will always be a number rule to being a good kid: Being filial, not letting your parents worry for you.
Now on a personal level, do you think you are a good kid?
Getting good grades, doing everything they told you to, staying at home everyday so that they will not worry about you creating havoc or turning bad outside, not talking back to them? Is that all? Is that really all it takes to be labelled "Good kid"?
So does it include showing concern for them, sharing their problems or happiness, bonding?
I had a friend who once told me, he did everything he was expected to do as an obedient kid. He stayed at home everyday, had all his meals at home, run errands for his parents and keep his own room. But he felt he was a bad son, because he hardly ever communicate with his parents. Instead, he felt his brother was a better son. His brother went out almost every day till very late night. But at times he would accompany his parents overseas or shopping.
So who is the good kid, and who is the bad kid?
Another friend, he always had good grades, and at times when his parents had any doubts or need any troubleshooting, they would consult him and he would always share his views and good advice. But otherwise he would either play computer games whole day, or go out with his friends, making his parents worry for his health many a times. But overall he had a better relationship with his parents than his sister had. His sister always stayed at home and helped with the housework and the errands. But she always quarrelled with her parents, upsetting them a lot.
So now, in this case, who is the good kid, and who is the bad kid?
Out of all the instances given above, what can you conclude? Do not tell me that to be a good kid, just do all the good conducts mentioned and throwing away all vices. Because no one is perfect. Though I've known one to be like that, but generally, no one can achieve that.
So can anyone tell me, what is the definition of being a good kid and a bad kid?
Thursday, June 29, 2006
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