Saturday, April 16, 2005

+ bUttErFlY +

+ bUttErFlY +

There is a chinese saying 'zhuan niu jiao jian', which literally means digging in the bull's horn. (haha thought you got me huh? Cows don't have horns!) Translated into english, there's also an idiom "going round in circles".

That is actually a very terrible feeling. You feel lost, depressed, pessimistic, despaired, helpless and ultimately, hopeless. The only advice i can give, or rather, the only thing i can and will do, is just let myself get lost in my own world of thoughts and attempt to sort them out. During that time, i may appear in a daze, look sleepy, expressionless, listless. And i may take an hour, a day, a week, or may never come out of it. But have you ever experienced the wonder of it when you finally, and i mean, FINALLY, sort out your thoughts and broke out of it? That feeling is simply awsome! Overwhelming! You feel so light-hearted! You are FREE of the burdens weighing you down! You feel as if you'd reborne! Just like a butterfly finally breaking out of its cocoon, after umpteen tiring tries, after so many thoughts of giving up, you are finally able to spread your big beautiful wings and take a big leap into your new life... Zhan chi gao fei...

It is okay to feel lost sometimes. Setbacks are unavoidable. Disappointments are inevitable. Many a times, storms never seem to clear. The sun never seems to come out. Things never seem to go your way. Luck never seems to be by your side. Hope is never within sight. But behold! Take a deep breathe and open up your mind! Gather up all your determination! Garner up all your courage! Be confident! Break out of your cocoon! Use as much strength as it could get! Take as long as you wish to clear your doubts and sort your thoughts out! But take heart not ever to look back once you step out of it. Face each new day with hopes! You will find that life is actually not that difficult with a little more optimism and a bright smile. =D

By the way, being trapped in the dark cell of a cocoon is not that bad. At least you can meditate and think clearly in the safety of the protection, and grow up in the process. But do remember, when it's time to break free, do let go. After all, many butterflies over exhaust themselves when breaking free, and die in the process...

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