Sunday, December 31, 2006

+ FAreWe|| 2oo6, wE|c0Me 2oo7 +

Today, something funny happened.

Lunch, at the dining table. (In the background, Elder bro was preparing to go out. Little bro was already out.)

Mum(nonchalantly): Any agenda for today?

Me(chewing on my food): NNahh...

Mum(nonchalantly): How come?

Me(still chewing on my food): Why not? Isn't it good?

Mum(still nonchalantly): Of course it's not good. Means something is wrong. Young people staying at home and not out on the streets?

Me(still chewing...):Mmunch.. mmunchh..

Well, well, well... Anyone who knows my mum will find the episode above funny, just like me. Because my mum will never say this kinda words. And for me, under normal circumstance, i would have replied, "Oh.. But i thought you prefer me to stay at home and dislike me going out?" Of course, this piece of truth would have unleash a long argument and then a cold war between the 2 of us. Truth is, people dislike to hear truths, and she's one of them.


But then, since one of my resolutions for the new year is to reduce as much conflicts as i can in the family(though that's been my resolution for many years), i decided to start practicing it on the last day of this year, and kept my mouth shut. And yea.. I managed to finish my lunch in peace. Cheers!


But I wasn't lying when i said i have no agenda for today. And so here I am, sitting before the computer, finally having it all to myself, munching on hot steaming chwee kuehs and having a slight fever, perhaps this will be how i will be spending the last few hours of 2oo6. Okay I know, at this late hour still eating chwee kuehs even though i had my dinner, it's really sinful. Well, just let me indulge in these sins for today k? I'll start my slimming program next year, in a few hours' time yea? Hehehe..

Year 2oo6.


It has been a good year. When i say good, it doesn't mean only good things happened. You wouldn't call a movie good just because it is a comedy, right? Same here. It's been a long year, where many milestones are set, of endings and beginnings, of losing my way and then finding it again, of learning & growing up and then recovering the innocence underneath, of seeing the bad and the ugly, and finding the beauty within. It's like an exciting rollercoaster ride. So adventurous. So good.


I had started the first 3 months of this year struggling. My final semester in university. It was terribly scary. All the hopes that i can't afford to dash. All the determination and discipline. Well, though still not very diligent as compared to many other fellow classmates, still, i had never been this determined all my life. I had never wanted something so much. And that is, to graduate. And amazingly, of the 8 papers i had, 7 times i had walked out of the hall feeling alright. Without those "I'm DEAD!" feeling. But more of those "There, I've done the BEST I could. The rest is up to the Heavens to see if it wants me dead or alive."This kinda feeling is something i had not felt since my O' Levels. O'levels, not even A'levels. How long had that been?


Hmm.. But that 1 out of eighth time, well, i don't feel like recalling them just yet. It was too scary to even think of it. It almost broke me. Thank God it didn't affect the rest of the papers after that. After the exams, people started looking around for jobs. But I was at a loss. One thing was uncertain, I don't know if i can graduate. Hence I don't dare to look around for a job properly. Yet I was given a choice of an alternative, not in the line of what i studied. Well, I was certainly attracted, and I decided to give it a try.


Financial adviser.


This is something i believe would have worked out for me if i keep on persevering. And I knew it would be REAL HARD work in the initial stages, but the fruits would be sweet. And I bummed around. This period was really a time of self discovery. What I really want? what I really like? what I really am good in? What I really am? Dark times ahead.


But i still decided Finance is not for me, at least for now. I know too little of this world, i know too little of myself, to give real advice and be responsible to people. I am an indecisive person, but I'm not fickleminded. Once I decided on something, I would not change my mind. Not for a long time. So even though I had wasted some big cash, some big time and seen a bit of the bad sides of human, I was still thankful for this period of muddy self discovery. For it was because of this that I realized I could, and should always trust my gut feeling, for it would never lie to me. And it was due to this, that i finally decided on my career path.


Civil engineering.


Yea. Before I went to Beijing, I got my results. I graduated.
At Beijing, I finally saw the places i've always wanted to see.

The Great Wall of China. The Forbidden City.


The origin of many stories. So colourful and glamourous, and yet so dark. So much room for imaginations to run. And with a lot of jiao3 zi. ^_^
After I came back, it was time for serious job hunting. And the wonderful part was, all my resumes were sent to engineering jobs. So determined I was right? Hahaha...

Graduation Day.


It was nothing too glamourous. But still, worth a place in my memories. All were accounted for in this entry=> Graduation Day
Anyway, I went for 4 job interviews in total. And my determination in earning a living in th engineering line strengthened with each interview. Till the last interview. I was forced to face the reality, the truth about myself. I am just an incompetent escapist. A bummer who happily tries to get past life just by breathing and laughing everyday.


To achieve, to do constructive things, to get a real life, one must have the real ability in one way or another. And I have none. I was totally shamed, not by others, but by myself. I said at the beginning already. People dislike hearing truths. I am one of them. I can't even face it. But this last interview made me even more determined to do well in this line.
And believe it or not, the very next day, this company gave me the job.

Heavens certainly like to make fun of me, making my emotions go on rollercoasters. Is It not scared I'll have a heart attack or a nervous breakdown? Anyway I don't know what made me, but i accepted the job. But this is just the beginning of another rollercoaster ride.


NICE, but very CAPABLE and CLEVER colleagues.


I have learnt to be brave everyday. University life made me. And i'm suddenly thankful for it. The new faces, new environment and everything. I just have to take a deep breathe and suck everything in. And be myself. In this company, just in this short period, I've already been through a depression period.


Never to depend on others.

Because no matter how nice the people are, there will always be one day when you realize that when you need help the most, there will be no one to offer a helping hand. Then again, you have to realize that people do not mean to hurt you in this way. Yet they are never obligated to be there for you every time you are in trouble. That's the way it is. You just have to learn how to survive and dig your way out on your own. This is all part of growing up. Yea, I just grew an inch! =) So in all, I'm still proud to say i've got nice colleagues who are nice to me. At least they do not harm me intentionally. And they made me eat healthy lunches. ^^

This year, I went for my 1st overseas trip without my family! Even though it's with my company for a short retreat where there's still adults, (oops! i forgot i'm also an adult now) still, it marks the beginning of freedom. With this first time, there's going to be many more times coming up, of me going overseas without my parents watching over me! How very nice that feels... Freedom is finally catching up, how ever late it is....


And guess what? Yesterday, my dear roomy got ROM-ed!!! My first friend to get married! It came as a wonderful surprise for all of us when we receive her invitation!
Bless you girl! May you live happily ever after! =D

And I believe, as usual, that I will be receiving more invitations soon, news of my friends getting married one by one! Muahaha! I really can't wait! =P

But wait!
10 more seconds!

9..
8..

Farewell 2oo6! It's been a good year!


3..

2..

1..

Welcome 2oo7!

All the best!
^^

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