+ k|dS AgA|n +

How would you define a good kid and a bad kid?
This is a question which i finally come up with after gathering many many instances from people whom i believed that, once this question is solved, will benefit many people.

Sidetrack just for your infomation:
Like for a scientist, most of the time, he'll have an idea popped up, a theory formed, THEN he'll do extensive research and experiment to prove his theory. Seldom will there be a theory formed out of observing many failed experiments, though that's how aeroplanes came out. The theory of Aerodynamics are formed out of the many experiments by the Wright Brothers.

Anyway, back to the kids topic. How would one define a good kid?

From the societal level, in the past, the most an average parent would hope from his kid to be good, was for him not to get into bad company, not getting into unnecessary fights, not stealing/robbing/taking drugs, and if he would finish his education properly and find a job with a stable income and start a family, that would be a bonus.

Now, from my observations, a kid who merely refuses to finish his homework after school, and/or watch tv all day, and/or rebut his parents' nags or lecturings, but otherwise is a well-behaved kid in school and/or in public, is labelled a very naughty, or, "Bad kid".

Is that really so? Just because a kid doesn't follow "the rules", they are bad?

How about another kid who is very filial, do all his homework, helps out with housework, listens and behaves himself before his parents, never letting them worry for him, but in school, he cheats during tests, bully others, get into fights, schemed against others, being rude to anyone and not behaving properly in public.

How is he labelled then?

Reducing the scope to family level of nowadays, further simplifying, a kid who is well-behaved in school, in public, but is rude only to his parents and doesn't, and never want to do as they told him to? Vice versa, a filial and well-behaved kid in front of his parents, but create havoc once out of his house, out of his parents' sight?

In another case, a kid follows every rule there is in the legal law, every rule written in the school booklet, do everything he is told, but he does everything half-heartedly, thus most of the times, things don't turn out right. So is he still a good kid?

Do not think that the above descriptions are purely examples out of a concept. Nope. There are real-life people whom I know are like these, maybe even including myself.

I know, in the bible and many other religious teachings, cultural teachings, there will always be a number rule to being a good kid: Being filial, not letting your parents worry for you.

Now on a personal level, do you think you are a good kid?
Getting good grades, doing everything they told you to, staying at home everyday so that they will not worry about you creating havoc or turning bad outside, not talking back to them? Is that all? Is that really all it takes to be labelled "Good kid"?

So does it include showing concern for them, sharing their problems or happiness, bonding?

I had a friend who once told me, he did everything he was expected to do as an obedient kid. He stayed at home everyday, had all his meals at home, run errands for his parents and keep his own room. But he felt he was a bad son, because he hardly ever communicate with his parents. Instead, he felt his brother was a better son. His brother went out almost every day till very late night. But at times he would accompany his parents overseas or shopping.
So who is the good kid, and who is the bad kid?

Another friend, he always had good grades, and at times when his parents had any doubts or need any troubleshooting, they would consult him and he would always share his views and good advice. But otherwise he would either play computer games whole day, or go out with his friends, making his parents worry for his health many a times. But overall he had a better relationship with his parents than his sister had. His sister always stayed at home and helped with the housework and the errands. But she always quarrelled with her parents, upsetting them a lot.
So now, in this case, who is the good kid, and who is the bad kid?

Out of all the instances given above, what can you conclude? Do not tell me that to be a good kid, just do all the good conducts mentioned and throwing away all vices. Because no one is perfect. Though I've known one to be like that, but generally, no one can achieve that.

So can anyone tell me, what is the definition of being a good kid and a bad kid?

+ FaCt oR CrAp? +

Natural body fats are said to keep bodies warm. So why are some fat people still afraid of the cold, or feels cold easily?

Conclusion: Two reasons why people feel cold.
Either they have no fats, or they have big pores.
:D

+ sTaRs c0uNt|inG +

On the plane, midnight,
Mrs Li woke up from her sleep and saw her son who was sitting by the window, still awake.

Mrs Li: Son, why aren't you sleeping yet? We have a long day ahead.
Son: Mum, I'm counting stars.
Mrs Li (leans over and peers out of the window for 1 second) : So dark, can see meh? Go and sleep now lah. Tomorrow when the sun is out then count lo....
Son: .............

+ hEaRt bRoKeN +

I look beyond the window. Dark clouds fill the sky. Wind, from all directions. Very strong wind. Cold. Icy cold. Something... bad... is going to happen, yet i know, elsewhere out of this place, another person will be enjoying great fine weather. This... bad... something, will only happen to me, and me only.

Now I remember. When one gains something, he loses another. Falls only on me. How can I forget that? I can never have the best of both worlds.

Pushing against the door, I step out. Rain has fallen, but I do not feel droplets. As if a dam somewhere has broken, a huge wave of water sweeps upon me, drenching and chilling me right to the deepest of my bones, and soul. And I hear cracking sounds. Many. Soft and Loud. And suddenly, loud chinking sounds, as if a basket of beads has dropped, the beads bouncing and rolling on the floor.

Trembling, I wait, as the sound of the last bead bounces to a stop... Tut, tut, tut....... In the midst of the chills, something warms my face. And with the hot tears flowing down my cheeks, I look at the floor. Nothing is there, yet, vaguely, it is as if i see, millions of tiny pieces of..... a heart. Yes, all these tiny pieces seem to make up a heart. But whose heart?

Involuntarily, my hand places itself to the left of my chest.... a sour feeling, a little achy, and then nothing. It is a void. Then I realise, spewed all over the floor of my mind, is millions of bits and pieces, of my heart.

A broken, a shattered heart.

+ ReSuRReCt|oN +

Ever since i was crashed by Reinforced Concrete, I've been hovering around, as my body lies in the intensive care unit, fighting for breaths. And i was waiting for the Judgement Day to see if I can return to my body. Unfortunately, no one knows when that Day is.

Until yesterday, while i was floating above a dog trying to make it see me, i heard a voice
called, "Hey gal!"

I turned, and many other souls, male and female, turned too.

"No, not you all! YOU!" my friend pointed his finger right at me.

"Yea guy! Wassup?" I inquired, mindful of the others, whose eyes remained fixed on him anyway, eager to hear what he wished to say to me.

"What are you still doing here? The Scroll has come! Hurry up and let's find out!"

THE SCROLL! The scroll that decides our Fate!

"Really!? It's the~~"
*WHOOSH!* Suddenly a strong gush of wind flew past and i was caught in the turbulences and eddy currents with my hair all over my face. When i finally untangled all my hair and looked properly around, everyone was gone! All of them must have dashed to the arena for the judgement of the Scroll, and in the process dragging my friend along! P00r guy... He told me before he wished to be the last to know his judgement.

Well, since everyone was fighting to be the first to know, the arena must be very congested. I might as well take my time. It's either I'm returning to the mortal world, or going up as angel, or going down as...... (taboo). Therefore knowing I won't remain in this World of Uncertainty, I visited Moaning Mytle in Hogwarts, then the Black Mountains for Xiao Qian, and bade farewell to Casper, before being on my way.

As soon as it seemed, it was my turn. As I knelt before the Scroll, I was so nervous i was almost knocked out cold! A voice boomed, " ABRAACCCABRRRBBACABRACRACABARA...... As it is, I declared you..... LIVE!"

OMG!! What did I hear?? What did it say?? The world suddenly spinned and all the memories of my life flashed past me and.... AND.....

"Why do you take SO LONG? I've been waiting for ages!"

Huh? I opened my eyes and saw my friend who had informed me of the arrival of the Scroll, folding his arms and looking very pissed. "Come ON! Don't fall into a daze! Let's go seek out the others!" And he started walking, dragging me along.

"Are... are you an angel now or am I a.....?" I still can't believe my eyes.

"What? You are a HUMAN! We've all been resurrected! GET IT!?"


OH! WE've ALL BEEN RESURRECTED!!! GOODNESS! THANK YOU HEAVENS and all of you who had blessed me and all of us with LUCK! I CAN'T GIVE THANKS ENOUGH!! This is so amazing!!

I'M FINALLY BACK ALIVE!!!!! WE WON THE WAR!!!! W00H00!!! :D

+ dEsT|nY +

The choices we make, mark our Destiny.

Long ago, when Harry Potter first came to Hogwarts, the Sorting Hat told him, given his abilities, he would have done well in Slytherin as much as he would in Gryffindor. Yet Harry kept asking the Hat to put him in Gryffindor. As such, he was granted his wish.

However, along the way, he was quite bothered by it. Did he ever make the wrong choice? Was the Sorting Hat right, that he really should belong to Slytherin? Especially when he saw in himself some qualities that were in Lord Voldemort, who was in Slytherin?

But in one instance, Professor Dumbledore asked him, "Why then, did the Sorting Hat place you in Gryffindor?"

"Because I asked it to."

"Exactly! It is not out of ability that shows what we truly are, it is our choices."

There you are. Harry could have done well, in different ways, both in Slytherin or in Gryffindor. But he CHOSE Gryffindor. And that made the difference. And that made his Destiny. And that, made him a TRUE Gryffindor.


There is another drama that i caught recently. This man, he was a promising young doctor, excellent in his medical skills. In his greed for wealth, he became a businessman. And surprisingly, he was a very successful one. Now, he had the brains for being a doctor, and he had the flair for being a businessman too. He could do well in either. Who would tell him what is his destiny to be, a doctor, or a businessman?

His destiny lies in his choice. If he chose to be a doctor, he will be a famous doctor. If he chose to be a businessman, he will make a successful businessman. And that would be his destiny.

One week ago, like Harry, I also faced 2 paths out of my abilities, the paths that would lead me to my Destiny. And, many odds against me, I'd made my choice. Was it a wrong one or not, it no longer matters. What matters is, what will go on from here?

Everything that depends on Destiny, Fate, Me.

+ f00d? +

Does this look nice??
Can anyone guess what's inside??


Disclaimer: No prizes for correct guesses.






and what is this??

+ tHe iNf|uEnCe oF Da Chang Jin +

One afternoon, in the kitchen, Mum prepares for dinner,

me: Ma, do you think the actress in Da Chang Jin are really so powerful that they can chop their food so fast or do your think it's actually other people's hands?
the kid(chorus): Ooo Na Ra Oooooooo Na Ra....
me(joins in the chorus): A Du Ooo Laaa....
mum: Of course it's for real. All of them undergo training before they start shooting this film, or that's the way how they really cook lo...
me: oh.. so can you chop fast fast too?
mum: Like this lo... (chops very fast)
me & the kid(in high pitch): Ooo Na Ra Oooooooo Na Ra A Du Ooo Laaa....
me: Shall we visit Korea next time? Then we can eat real Korean food!
mum: Can... But seriously i don't think their food will taste nice to me. Everything is stirred up till so.... Nice meh?
me: Hmmm.... Ooo Na Ra....
the kid joins in: Oooooooo Na Ra A Du Ooo Laaa.... Ka Ta Ra Kaaa Ta Ra A Ku Da Raaaa....
me & the kid(in super high pitch): A Na Ni Aaaaaa~~
dad(suddenly out of nowhere): Oei! People wanna sleep lah! So inconsiderate! And you always complain that people are too noisy when you sleep!
me & the kid & mum: Oops!
mum: Carry on sleeping now lo...
dad: Can't sleep already lah.
And he turns on the tv and loud volume,
TV(advertisement): OOO NA RA OOOOoooo NA RA A DU OOO LAAAaaa....

dad: -.-!!

+ tHe mAssACrE oF tHe c0cKr0aCheS +

I noticed a disturbing sign just now. Out of nowhere, a big cockroach appeared in my living room, and it walked one whole round before my father sprayed at it with a can of pesticide. Initially i thought pesticide is for plants and won't be as effective as insecticide. But nope! seems like it's really effective! hahaha...

Then half an hour later, i went downstairs to run an errand. And guess what?! The moment the lift door opened at the first storey, before i can even step out of the lift, i saw DEAD COCKROACHES lying all around the lobby! Not one, not two, BUT ELEVEN!!!! Yea i counted them coz i was too overwhelmed. Almost got a shock. I'm beginning to sense something wrong... Then i walked on through many void decks to get my things done. And what do i see? More dead cockroaches! And they are mostly concentrated at the lift lobbies, though there are a few spewed across the open spaces in the void decks. When i passed by a household, those kind that is on the 1st storey type, i smell insecticide. It could mean that, like mine, a cockroach had just visited them. As i passed the drains, a few cockroaches are moving around too. Right in broad daylight! This errand trip, I walked a longer than usual route, because i have to keep going around in circles to avoid dead n alive cockroaches. Imagine seeing more than 20 cockroaches, dead and alive, in one go? Ultra disgusted.

What happened? Why are so many cockroaches out in the streets in broad daylight? And most of them are dead? Are the nests suddenly wiped out? But that would not be an easy feat, because it would mean wiping out nests at different locations at the same time! And what caused the wipe out? Poisoning? Disease? the professional Insect-killer? What day is this in the lunar calendar? Is today a special day? Is it the weather? I heard that when many insects are killed together in one day, some supernatural forces are involved? Or is a great catastrophe going to happen? Earthquake? Flood?
What?

+ hE|p|Ess +

Sometimes i really wonder... Now I know... I'm actually such a senseless, or nonsensical, bitch in the eyes of many. I'm a saneless, act cute buay cute, brainless old hag trying to behave or look juvenile, who always complains about everything around me and criticise anything i can get my eyes on and whines about all the stuffs that gets on my nerves.. and not to forget, an extremely easily irritable emotionally unbalanced female who would not think on both sides of things and can only see things narrowly from that tiny one point of view.

Sigh... When i voice my opinions on some subjects, obviously i know what's the big picture and what is and what is not. Obviously i know the whole world is not like how i said. Of course i know what i've pointed out is only the minority. Does one expect me to rattle out a whole GP essay before I point out that small insignificant point of mine? Am i expected to repeat that essay every time i want to add on to my tiny point? It's precisely everyone knows about the general view and the facts, that's why i intentionally omit it out when i voice out a small point against it. Why is it called a general view? Because everyone knows it! Since everyone knows it, why should i repeat it? But somehow, people will start thinking that I'm so prejudiced that i fail to look at the big picture and that i generalized the whole population by my words, by that small point because i thought it to be so logical. Sigh... Must i repeat myself? Obviously i know there are still many different kinds of view on the same subject. Obviously i know there are still many kinds of people better than those i've pointed out. Obviously i know what i've pointed out is only a small tiny instance which the sampling rate may not even be significant enough to make any conclusion. Obviously i know it can even be an isolated and random incident on its own. Why can't people even trust my sanity, my judging, or even thinking abilities? Am i really that brainless to them?

Indeed, i may appear insane at times. I may sound babbling nonsenses at times. Well, I admit. Sometimes i really hope i can be insane and babble gibberish. At least I need not face all these craps. But the truth is, I'm still as sane as ever. If only someone will really sit down and listen properly to what i say. But then, it's another funny thing. Because some actually find me depressing. Sometimes, how a person interpret something actually is dependent on the listener himself. He may hear or read neutral words, but he can interpret them as depressing, or happy, according to his own mood at that point of time. I admit i'm at bit more expressive in my words at times, but most of the words i chose are neutral. I may look or sound explosive, but why can't i lose myself at times? Why should I always be level-headed?(even though at the end of everything i'll still be the level-headed me) But can't I even express myself, or even get overwhelmed by emotions sometimes? I'm not a saint, nor a public figure. I'm just a nobody. I am just me. Even if I drop dead in the busy streets of Orchard Road, no one will notice or even miss me. I can look or sound one emotion, but i'm actually feeling another emotion, which can be totally opposite. This is my way of expressing myself. If people can't understand, i can understand that. So long as i understand myself, it's ok. Because this is all that matters. But if people interpret me as depressing after me letting them on my innermost thoughts, then I'll rather not do that. At least i won't make other people sad, even when i'm not being sad to begin with. People can choose not to listen.

When I'm happy, I'm happy. And I do have my own ways to show that. And I do not do that deliberately. It's just an innate thing. Even i myself may not realise it. To think people, even those very close to me, say i'm acting cute. I know i look older than my age. i know i'm very big sized. i know i should act mature. But does that mean i should control everything i do, everything i am, everything i feel? If so, what's the difference of this from acting cute? Both are putting a facade. For what purpose? I empathsize again; I am not cute, and I do not act cute. Cute is an objective term. Some things that i do, to you it may seem acting cute. If that's the case, then all i can say is, I'm sorry, there's nothing i can do about it. What if i behave in a way which to you is natural and not acting cute, but to some other people I am acting cute? Do i have to change my behaviour again to suit their terms? Or do i behave differently in front of different groups of people so that the groups of people can accept me? That's such a chore. It is not worth it to waste life like this. People, get alive please. Stop living for the sake of living. Stop living for others. Of course, some people are going to say, "Then how? So others are going to suffer on the expenses of you being yourself? By being yourself, you won't spare a thought for others?"

See what i mean? Why can't people trust me? Obviously i do not mean it that way. I trust humanity. I trust that everyone has their own minds that do not need to go to extremities. That's why I do not bother to explain myself. But seems like reality is sometimes more disappointing that you think. In this case, when i say "get alive", i trust that all humans with brains, or even a heart, are able to figure out how to balance the situation of being themselves, but not at the expenses of others. They can start living for themselves, but in a better way where they can express themselves, yet others are able to accept them in spite of their differences.

Pathetic. Do I need to explain myself like this that includes many sides of view every time i wish to make a point? Say, on a blog, I do not have that much of time to sit down and write out a whole GP essay. For your information, I used to take 2 hours to complete a GP essay. Here, I'm typing, meaning i have to use a longer time. How many 2hrs can i afford just to make a point? Even listing out all possible points of view is time consuming. That's why i usually go straight to the point. Say, on msn, it's even worse, because conversation is continuous. the opposite party will not have the patience to wait for you to present so many viewpoints on a case just because you wish to make a point. that's why i always go straight to the point. If you seriously would like to hear my views on some subjects, the best is of course the conventional way. Give me a dial or meet up over a cup of coffee. We can make time for each other and really sit down and discuss upon everything under the sun. Then perhaps, we'll list down all points to all the cases we discussed, and preferably made a clean conclusion to all cases to the benefit of mankind, that everything is dependent on the situation and there is no right or wrong in anything. And isn't this always the case? That's why I do not wish to repeat that conclusion everytime. Because i assume everyone knows that there is nothing certain in life. Everything is dependent. Even Time is relative.

Perhaps the best way for me now is to be a person totally void of all emotions, expressions. Even if i'm bursting with anger, I should still keep my cool else people will start thinking i'm emotionally unbalanced. Even if I am happy, I should not laugh lest people think I'm acting cute. Even if i have some thoughts about stuffs in general, I should still keep them to myself, because some people will find it depressing. I should do everything everyone orders me to, and say and think the way everyone does. It's best if I, and everyone else, can keep their opinions to themselves, unless you want to agree on what the others say. Because no one will appreciate your views anyway. You will only be a pest.

Ah-ha! thought you've caught me don't ya? I'm being extreme over here now. To summarise, I state again. I am not a saint. I can go to extremes too. But all that matters to me is that I know that at the end of everything, i will still balance up my emotions and thoughts and reason myself back to the midpoint i always am. So how does it matter to you? You just have to trust me on that. If you find my words depressing, and it agonises you, perhaps its time to do something. It could be me, and it could be you too. If it's the former, then just stop listening to me. If it's the latter, may you do an emotional check on yourself. I am not cute, and I do not act cute. If you find me an eyesore, i'm afraid that's your own problem then. And last but not least(am i writing a GP essay here?), nothing is certain in this world.

Am I explaining myself here? Oh no... See what I mean? If i have to explain everything point that i say, and bring up more points to prove that, and then explain further on those points, see? Will i ever stop? And I'd already spent four whole hours here. :P

+ n0nG n0nG aG0 +

Aiyo aiyo aiyoyo!!! Why is June soooo loonnngggg???
This is gonna be the LONGEST May ever! And the hottest too! hahaha....

May has 31 days. Why is it that no matter how much i count the days, it'll always stay so far from June?

Come on June! Come quickly!
I've got soooo much to look forward to in you!

First of all, RESULTS!! My verdict is coming out on the FIRST week!! Go Go go!! Ops! No is Come come COME!! Everything is sooo UNcertain now. The verdict shall decide where I would continue from here. That's why! Come on June! Hurry come! From now till then, my life will be in turmoil! Come save me bah!! hahaha...

Then, I've got TWO events coming up, one in the 1st week, the other in the last week! But hopefully I can get the tix!! Oh man! I really hope i can get it! I'm soooo looking forward to it! hahaha... Come on C0mE 0N!

Then I'm going CHINA! AGAIN! MUAHAhahaha!!! ZZzzzz..... Yea... It's China again... BUT LUCKILY it's not Guangzhou! Hahaha.. this time I'm going BEIJING!!

YAY!! I'm going to sing
"........one night in Peking.... wo liu xia xu duo qing......."
>.<

I wanna eat my favourite Beijing Jiao Zi aka dumplings! Jiao zi jiao zi, jiao zi jiao zi!! I wanna eat Peking duck!! Guess what? I'm so old already, but I've never tried Peking duck before!! AARRGGHH!! All the ducks in Beijing BEWARE!! The evil witch is coming to town!! Hwahwahwa... *evil laughs*

And besides eating, I'll be having lotsa visiting to do!
Hello Panda! I'm coming to see you! Finally! To think I came all the way to Guangzhou for you last year yet all I saw was an empty cage! Now you don't hide from me ok?
And I wanna climb the GREAT WALL! Yes! The GREAT wall!! Hahaha... I wanna see if it's thick enough to trap David Copperfield in when he tried to walk through it!
I wanna go to the Forbidden City to find Huan Zhu Ge Ge! Oops! I forgot she moved to Yunnan Dali already... Ok! Then I'll go visit The Emperor, Lao Fo Ye, Ziwei and Er kang instead bah! I'll visit Huan Zhu Ge Ge and Wu A-Ge in Yunnan next time.
And last but not least, the MAIN aim of this trip, is to visit my BROTHER!!
BRO!! Your pesky sis is coming!! Muahahahaha... We all miss you so much we're gonna fly dunno how many miles to disturb you! lalalalalalala....

And one of these days, I'm gonna catch X-MEN III - THE LAST STAND!!!!

YAY YAY!!!!
U say HEY and I say H0! Yi qi zou bah! Yi qi zou bah!!
TE A GE LO YO TE A GE L0!! Yi qi zou bah!
YI QI ZOU BAH!!
W00h0O!!!

+ |d vs EP +

Indecisive vs Easily Persuaded

I realised that being indecisive does not mean being easily persuaded.
On the contrary, it may even be opposite. Precisely that one is being indecisive, all the more he is not easily persuaded.

Say given in one situation, on the assumption that neither has any preference prior to the situation, 2 persons, A(a decisive person) & B(an indecisive person), are presented with 2 choices: C & D

Third person E wants to get both A and B to choose choice D. Therefore he tells them the pros and cons of choices C and D, and empathsizes on the advantages of choosing D.

A, being a very decisive person, on hearing of the greater advantage from choosing D, he decided to choose D, and that's it.

B, being a very indecisive person, makes no move yet. Seeing B's hesitation, E proceeded to persuade B on the advantages of choosing D and disadvantages of choosing C. E even spot on B's weakness and used it to further persuade him to choose D.

B, still being very indecisive, decide not to make a choice yet. He does more researches on his own about the 2 choices, taking his own sweet time to juggle the pros and cons of the 2 choices, taking what E said into consideration, and also bearing in mind what he had found out on his own.

E, seeing that B is so indecisive, and getting more indecisive, believes that B is easy prey, and that sooner or later, with further persuasion from him, B will choose choice D.

But in the end, what B chose will be what he decided is the best for himself.

I will not say which choice is the better of the two, nor reveal what B eventually choose.

I just want to say:
A, being a decisive person, will judge things based on what he heard there and then. Given the limited information for consideration, he would naturally choose what seems the best at that instant. Which is not a bad thing except that he is more easily persuaded than B.

B, being indecisive, will take a long time to weigh the pros and cons, and decide on which is best for himself. If he is convinced the other choice is better than what he is persuaded to choose, he will still choose the former. Hence he is less easily persuaded.

There is no right no wrong, no good no bad.
Everything, the choices and the consequences, depends on the situation and character of the person.
However, never assume that all indecisive people are easily persuaded. You may want to shift your targets to those decisive ones instead.
0_^

+ tW|nS +

I can't believe this....

Everyone is unique in some ways. Yet, I've found TWO persons who are unique in EXACTLY the SAME way!! G00DNESS!! How is that possible??

I thought one person being THAT unique in the whole wide world is (bad) enough. But I just realised I've found another one who is so similar to the former, not in terms of looks but in terms of character, the way they think and behave and they way they handle things, that..... I can't help but sigh...

They know each other. But I seriously think they should get to know each other much better.
I strongly believe they are EITHER made for each other, or they will loathe each other so much they can be arch-enemies. Since they are so similar in their thinkings, either they can accept each other's shortcomings and appreciate their virtues, or they can finally discover their own shortcomings through the other person, which could lead to them disliking each other or their own selves. But from what I see, given their characters, it should be the former.

But then again, either ways it will be good. In the former, they can finally find someone who appreciate and understand them, and they could live happily ever after(without being a nuisance to others anymore).

In the latter, after being blinded to their own faults their whole lives, they can finally SEE and understand themselves more, henceforth improving themselves in their characters and personalities. Thus they will be changed into a better people (without being a nuisance to others anymore).

Then there shall be Peace in the world forever.

Isn't this good?
But reality is always different from the ideal.

+GuT +

I never know which am I.
Emotional or Rational.

I know I'm a mixture of both, but more towards which side??
No one seems to know too. Most people agree I am both, but some said i'm a LITTLE towards emotional; some said I'm a BIT towards rational; while the others simply give up trying to guage.

Say in a situation, being rational means when everything favours towards your side, you will go ahead with it. Being emotional means even when the odds are against you, so long as you feel like it, you will still go ahead with it.

But what is that when everything favours you, and you really feel like it, YET there's a TINY little thing holding you back?? And the worse thing is, you can't even locate where is the source of that tiny thing! From the back of your mind, or from the back of your heart? or everywhere in your body?

Is it Gut Feeling??
Or simply no guts??

Hmmm....
Worth pondering.....

+ l0tS +

Do you believe in lots?

Drawing lots is a form of communication between the supreme beings and us. Most people normally draw lots when they seek to have guidance in whichever area they feel lost in. The Kwan Yin Temple is well-known for giving very accurate and good advices.

Do you believe in lots? How would you feel if for the very first time in your life that you ever draw a lot, you get a bad one? How would you feel if it warns you of "xiao ren" aka evil doers? How would you feel if right at this time of your life, you feel that there are indeed possible "xiao ren"s lurking around even before you draw the lot? And they are already beginning to hurt you? How true could that lot be?

It could just be a self fulfilled prophecy.

Or

it could just be

TRUE

+ c0nDeMn +

How would you feel if you've spent ur entire life trying to please someone, only to realise that this person has long ago condemned you for who you are so many years ago and nothing, absolutely NOTHING, can change the condemnation, even if you are a much better or totally different person now?

How would you feel being condemned by the person closest to you?!
Yes! LIFE IS SAD!

Fine! If that's how you want it!
If that's what you want!
If you want to live in the past forever, FINE! Go ahead and condemn me! I wouldn't care less!
If that's what you want, if that's how I am forever in your heart, I shall revert back to the old me! Everything, just for YOU!
Go ahead and hate me! AS IF I CARE!!

PUI!

+ NeVeR sAy d|E +

Last night, I was being nosy and stopped by the television to see what’s showing. It was a reality show, “Never Say Die”.

The contestants were those who had tried their hands in Singapore Idol, Jue Dui Superstar and Star Idol but failed. Initially I wasn’t very much impressed with this show. But as it was, when I stopped to look, they were just showing a segment on the internal strife among the contestants. It seems that all 7 contestants were being very unhappy with the 8th guy and they all unleashed their frustrations and unhappiness on him all in one go. The poor guy took a big blow, and finally shed tears.

For me personally, I also do not take much liking to this guy. But seeing how sad he was… well, I realized he’s still a human. He does have feelings, no matter how eccentric or perverse he may seem. Anyway later on the other contestants explained that they weren’t really ostracizing him. They had tried all means and ways to accept him and to point out his faults to him in a bid to let him improve. However, it had all been in vain, and he just continued keeping himself on their nerves. Until that eruption when no one could take it anymore.

I can truly understand both feelings, that as one of the 7 contestants, and that of the 8th guy. No matter which side you are on, you won’t feel good. I won’t for sure.

But as things cleared up, all of them shook hands as a sign of harmony. A girl passed him a piece of tissue, and all 8 of them sat together, and the camera go around for their after thoughts on this episode. When it was one partular guy's turn, he spoke and got more passionate with each word.

“We, the 8 of us, are in this TOGETHER! We should all MOVE FORWARD as ONE! We will leave NO MAN behind!
LEAVE NO MAN BEHIND!!
NEVER SAY DIE!!”

He ended his speech standing up and making a huge warrior gesture. And we saw the 8 of them, putting their hands together, a show of unity. And at this point of time, I realized my eyes were tearing, and I didn’t even notice that.

When was the last time I heard words like this? It sounded so familiar, yet so long ago. I could feel the same emotions in them too.

Yesterday was a bad day. It doesn’t help that I was caught out of my house by the rain for 3 whole hours and still had to cycle home in the rain after the long wait. Then upon reaching my house, I faced the risk of incurring my friend’s wrath, only to realize I only have 8 hours left to prepare for a morning paper on the next day which is this morning, which I had covered less than a quarter of what I had to digest. And on top of it, I had to bear the consequences of the actions of some irresponsible parents, and I couldn’t let it out.

Perhaps I was fated to watch this segment of “Never Say Die”. Perhaps it was to tell me not to give up. Just like the contestants, they were given a second chance, and they were going all out to grab that opportunity and use it to the fullest. I was given my chance too. No matter who is going to bring me down, no matter who WANTS to bring me down, no matter who likes to see me down, I tell you now! I SHALL NEVER SAY DIE!! (ok.. even though I’m already a spirit and the fact that I’m already dead…) BUT my SPIRIT shall still go on!!! MUAHAHA!!

It seems that the offstage moments of this reality show are even more dramatic than what it already is. This is a competition, yet there is no competitiveness involved. Instead, all of them seek to help each other and strives to improve themselves. They could have jolly well made use of this chance to bring down that guy to increase their own confidence, but all they wanted to do was to help him, though things did turn wayward. But in the end, in this particular episode, I could really see an improvement in this 8th guy.

Talk about the extent of touching people’s hearts. They always occur in the most subtle form in the direst situations. Plus the fact that this is coming from a group of not-as-good-looking-as and do-not-sing-as-well-as an average person u find on the streets.

But they have something which most people don’t have. The never-say-die attitude.

And that is the difference.

+ Sp|r|t +

Since I already died on 20 April 2006, this is my spirit talking here...

Being a spirit, I've spent more time thinking over my life, and a notion simply pop up to me..

I wonder, how memorable it would be if one can graduate from University, ending her educational life, with someone she truly likes. On the Convocation Day, both wear the graduation robes, take a picture together, with triumphant smiles on their faces. Somehow it seems to signify both of them have come so far, fighting battles together, and finally be able to graduate together... even if they are purely friends.

I suddenly realise, since a long time ago, one of the big motivations to make me want to graduate, on time, is that picture. Even if he doesn't like me. Even if we are just friends. Even if he is attached. Even if it signifies that chances of meeting him again after that day is down to 0.00009.
At least i still have that picture, to remind me of him, of the days when we fought on together, encouraging each other not to give up under the tremendous stress n pressure in Uni life.

All I want and can only wish for is that photo. But can I even graduate on time? With him?
This final battle is only half over. And I'm already dead. Oh.. how did I die? I was crushed by reinforced concrete. Stupid sia.. Concrete is already bad enough, REINFORCED concrete somemore! No wonder i died such a horrible death... haiz...

But I'm still a spirit, or soul, or as some scientific people insist, a bulk of energy left hovering in the world. I'm not yet a ghost, so don't worry, i won't bite. I'm still waiting for the judgement day 6 weeks from now, where i shall face the verdict or either going to hell, or heaven, or be allowed to resurrect.


And meanwhile, even when I am a spirit, a soul, or a lump of energy, the battle must go on.

+ R.|.P. +

She came.
She lived.
Today
she died.

Rest.In.Peace.

+ hErE +

It is finally coming.
The Beginning of an Ending.
The Ending to a new Beginning.
I hope so.
I certainly hope so.
I really wish so.
I KNOW it is so.

It.is.finally.here.